


Poltergeist

by CelticKnot



Series: Mass Effect Fictober 2019 [18]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: Fictober 2019, Gen, Haunting, Humor, MEFFictober2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 16:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21079832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticKnot/pseuds/CelticKnot
Summary: MEFFictober Prompt: "It's the most haunting time of the year!" Something seems to be haunting the Normandy's mess hall.





	Poltergeist

“Shit. Where the hell is my skillet?” Gardner spat. This was getting ridiculous.  _ Someone  _ had been messing around in his goddamn kitchen. He didn’t mind the crew stopping by and fixing themselves coffee or snacks or whatever, but when it came to mealtimes, he had a lot of people to cook for. He needed to know where everything was. And somebody wasn’t bothering to put shit back where it belonged.

Trouble was, he never saw it happen, so he couldn’t catch the culprit.

But when he turned around, there it was. The missing skillet sat in the middle of the counter, plain as day.

“That’s odd,” he muttered. “Coulda swore that wasn’t here a minute ago.”

Standing here frowning at it wasn’t going to get dinner cooked, though. He set it on the stove and poured a little olive oil in it. When he went to set the bottle back on the counter, someone took it and put it back in the cabinet where it belonged. “Thanks,” he said absently as he reached for the minced onions and garlic on the cutting board.

Then he stopped, and did a double take.

There was nobody there.

As he watched in  _ <strike>(terror)</strike> _ bafflement, the cutting board and knife rose up off the countertop of their own accord. The knife scraped the vegetables into the skillet, the cutting board returned to the counter, and the stove turned itself on.

The knife paused in midair, and Gardner swallowed hard. He wanted to run, but his feet seemed glued to the floor.

Turning slowly, the knife pointed itself at him. Trembling, breathing hard, Gardner took a step back, eyes wide. Then the knife leapt forward! He cried out, raising his arms to shield his face—

And the blow never came. Only disembodied laughing.

Gardner froze. He knew that voice.

He lowered his arms and folded them across his chest. “Very funny,” he snapped.

With a shimmer of white static, Kasumi let her cloak drop. She was doubled over, laughing so hard she could barely breathe. “You should have seen your face!” she cackled.

“Yes, I’m sure it was very amusing,” Gardner drawled. “Give an old man a heart attack, why don’t ya.” He shook his head. “What gives?”

“Aw, come on,” said Kasumi, catching her breath. “It’s Halloween! The most haunting time of the year!” She pouted playfully. “I was just having a little fun.”

“A little fun.” Gardner snorted and shook his head. “Well, if you want to eat anytime soon, you’ll take your fun somewhere else. Go haunt Massani or Solus or someone.”

Kasumi grinned. “Ooh, now there’s an idea.” She blinked out of sight again. “See ya.”


End file.
